Tuesday, November 1, 2011

A Bit of Navel Gazing: Part 2

A few months ago, I had a melancholy day and wrote about five year plans and my current lack of one. Today made me realize that a life without a plan, is a life controlled by others.

This morning started out pretty well. My sleeping patterns have returned to normal. No more staring at the ceiling at midnight only to wake up at 4:00 AM unable to return to sleep. I was up on time, played with Roxy while having my juice and waiting for the coffee to brew. Had a good read, hit the shower, and headed to work with a clear understanding of what I needed to get done today.

My boss messaged me to let me know that she was going to be working from home because she was baby-sitting her grandchildren while her daughter had a predelivery medical exam - grandchild number five is due any day now. She messaged me again in about 20 minutes to check on some documentation she posted, then again around 9:45 to let me know that she was in the process of being fired from her job. Her position was being eliminated - or in European terms, she had become redundant.

My jaw dropped. I was flabbergasted and gob smacked. She had been with the company for 10+ years. Had created the group in which I work. She and I split the work for our division with her taking several applications in addition to her management duties. She was a wonderful manager and a friend who was eager to assist when necessary, wisely council when a few words of encouragement were required, and quietly listen when you just needed to vent. I will miss her smile and her humor. She was a giant goof-ball sometimes, but she was quick to laugh and fought fiercely for those who deserved more.

Our company is transitioning to a new agile development and release method. I expected some churn and had girded my loins to cheerfully accept the rapid change required for the transition over the next several months. This, however, was not what I had prepared for - nor was I prepared for the other folks who were also let go today. I am sure that there is a plan in this move somewhere, I just hope that the Masters of the Universe choose to share it with us mortals sometime soon. Uncertainty is my enemy.

To make this day even more of a downer:
  • My last remaining lunch buddy also turned in his notice
  • The Greeks thumbed their noses at the rest of Europe and will most like be back on the drachma when I visit next summer.
  • I received a "thanks, but no thanks" email from a potential employer.
  • All of my emoticons have been frowny faces.
  • My focus was ruined and very little work was completed


My horoscope today read: "Normally you are a champ at keeping fact and fiction distinct, yet now the fabric of life contains both. Don't over analyze what's happening; just appreciate the magic of what you can create." Somehow I am missing the magic and hoping that when I wake up tomorrow that this was really just one of those dreams that show you a possible future. But I am afraid that would be the fiction mentioned above.

With today in mind, it is time to seriously consider what I want to be doing five years from now. I need a solid direction so that if this door closes, I will have some idea as to which door before me I need to push through to get to my chosen destination. 

Best wishes to my former colleagues!
I will miss you all
Glenn

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