Family Vacation 2013: All Aboard!

After our six hour drive to Baltimore followed by a seafood feast we were in bed pretty early Thursday night.

The hotel offered both free breakfast and free parking for our week at sea. We had a 10:00 reservation on the hotel shuttle to take us to the Baltimore docks, so our morning was relaxed and unhurried.

At breakfast, I steered clear of the egg nuggets or whatever those clumps of yellow, chalky clusters were supposed to be. Instead, I had some yogurt, a banana, and some hash brown potatoes to start the day. My youngest niece needed some sandals and sunglasses, so she and I hiked over to the Walmart and did a bit of early morning, last minute cruise shopping. She looked great in her Wayfarers!

The Gang on the Gangway

Linda and Dad

Our shuttle arrived on time, we loaded in, and were heading up the gangway to check in at 10:30 sharp. The previous night, when we were arranging our departure time, I whined and complained more than a little about getting to the docks too early. In my past experience, arriving too early only meant standing in line for an hour to get checked in. My recommendation was to leave around noon to avoid the early crowds. With that in mind, I was pleasantly surprised upon our arrival to see that the check-in lines were quite short.

Note to self – relax, give up control, let others make decisions, just be where you are supposed to be when you are supposed to be there, have fun.

Obligatory Boarding Picture

 

Delicious Vodka Soup

Upon boarding, we learned that our rooms would not be ready until 1:00, so we headed to the pool area, had a few adult breakfast drinks, and watched our shipmates arrive. The day went smoothly from there on out.

A Room with a View

There were bottles of champagne awaiting us in our rooms. Our luggage arrived quickly and our unpacking went smoothly. The sail away party and sunset were lovely and dinner in the dining room was better than expected.

We have a great week ahead of us!

Sail Away Party

Sunset from the Veranda Room 7524

Your Hero’s Journey

It took a few weeks, well, really more than a month, to get back into my regular schedule following the great leap forward (also known as daylight savings time). I have struggled to get out of bed at 6:00 AM, start the coffee, meditate, and get to the gym – all before work. As with all struggles, if it were easy, I guess everyone would be doing it.

As part of my morning workout, I have a list of 10 or so podcasts to which I listen in order to combat the monotony of repeatedly counting reps and sets and miles. Due to my recent laziness and inability to roll out of bed, I am a little behind in my podcast listening.  But, when I am at the gym I listen to episodes of Stuff You Should Know, Stuff You Missed in History Class, Freakonomics, Planet Money, Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, Here’s the Thing with Alec Baldwin, and my favorite The Savage Lovecast.

Dan Savage is one of my idols. I admire his blend of blunt, in your face, practical advice, delivered with the raunchiness of a giggly sex-starved schoolboy, and yet he remains empathetic to the lovelorn, lost, and uninformed. I want to be him when I grow up!

The Savage Lovecast episode I listened to this morning originally aired in November 2012. In it, Savage followed up with a caller who had called about a problem he was experiencing in 2011 following his coming out to his religiously conservative parents. He was having a difficult time deciding what to do about the holidays - go home during his college break, as his parents wanted, to pretend all is well and to be emotionally blackmailed or stay with a friend’s family. He decided not to go home, but in this episode, a year later, we learn that his family is still punishing him and regularly emailing pleas to "leave the darkness and march in the light of Christ."

What intrigued me most about this conversation was Savage’s reference to the caller’s “heroic journey,” which represents the struggle he is now experiencing that will eventually define who he becomes in life. Savage advised this young man to not fall into self-destructive behaviors (alcohol, drugs, risky practices), but to use this journey as a means to forge his own path to happiness. He should take responsibility for his actions and avoid blaming his parents for their reaction.

For some reason, I was struck by the terminology, perhaps due to its literary quality, but it made me think about my own "heroic" journeys and how the choices I made along the way affect my life today. The first journey commenced a week before I graduated from high school, when my closet door was ripped from its hinges before I was mentally or financially prepared to deal with the fall out. As a result, I chose a path of destruction eventually leading to the creation of multiple personae - each intended to please my family, friends, teachers, and employers. Looking back, this path is littered with thousands of beer cans, liquor bottles, the remains of numerous recreational drugs, and the shards of broken hearts.

And yet, I survived only to be forced into a second heroic journey at the ripe old age of 40. This one was precipitated by the estrangement from a parent. I found that my previous tools for coping would not heal this wound. Instead, upon closer examination, I simply realized I had only been pushed from the nest (albeit very late in life) and it was now time to fly. In the 10 years since I embarked on this path, my wings have grown stronger and I feel myself soaring above my troubles. I left no debris trail behind me as I recovered and began to savor a sense of release by living a life full of love and potential, rather than fear, shame and distrust.

I think we are all challenged by life and forced into multiple heroic journeys at various points in our lives. We are sometimes assisted along the way by our loved ones,  but, as Mr. Savage points out, it is up to us to decide whether our stories will be remembered as tragedies or triumphs. 

Peace!

Spiritual Path: Karma Finally Catches Up With Me

Bangkok: 10 years ago. Today I would call it Karma.

Last summer I took a leap and followed a path that had been calling me. After a few classes on meditation I knew I had made the right decision, but there was so much to learn. Following the new year, I began attending a series of Discovering Buddhism classes offered through the Kadampa Center. This series consists of 14, six-week courses, each focused on one aspect of Buddhist philosophy. If you attend all 14 courses, including a two week retreat, and complete the assignments, you receive a certificate. 

It is possible that one day I may become a certified Buddhist, until then, I will continue working to improve myself. 

 The most recent course focused on the rather complicated topic of Karma. To complete the course, students were asked to answer this following question:  

 According to the Buddha, every aspect of our experience of life, no matter how trivial or insignificant, is the result of karma, our past actions of body, speech, and mind. Do you agree or disagree with this? Why? Whether you believe this or not, how would your life be different if you lived as if this were true?

My Answer:

Even before I took my first class at the Kadampa Center, I always felt that there was a cause and effect for all things that happen in this life – I simply lacked the framework for properly understanding it. Of course, I was previously more apt to apply this outlook to the problems of others rather than myself. From a distance it is often easier to see how someone is making a rather uncomfortable bed in which they will one day be whining about having to sleep. And, I hate to admit, I have rather bluntly and with a lack of compassion pointed out to family, friends, and co-workers that the unhappy situation in which they find themselves appears to be due to loose lips, poor choices, or not taking the time to read and follow the instructions.

Over the last ten years or so, I have attempted to think of myself as a self-contained, pragmatic person; however, following my recent introduction to the intricacies of Karma, I feel as if the light has broken through the clouds. Rather than attempting to exist as an island with no cares in the world, I now find that I am trying harder to be kind and compassionate to the people I interact with on a daily basis and more friendly to people randomly encountered throughout the day. I feel myself taking the time to recognize when I am being impatient, not practicing generosity, about to say something without thinking, or obsessing about the fly that is buzzing around my home. My nascent awareness (and sharp wit) may not prevent me from speaking before thinking in every occasion, but I do feel that by recognizing those actions that result in unhappiness and making the effort to avoid them, my happiness quotient has increased.

If I had this knowledge from an earlier age, rather than learning it at the contemplative age of 50, I am unsure how my life would be different today. Perhaps I would have worked harder to maintain some relationships and ended others more quickly. Perhaps I would have considered the long-term consequences of my choices rather than the short-term pleasures I sought. In retrospect, there are some decisions and words I wish I could take back. However, regardless of these past actions, today I can only learn from the past and act in a manner that generates positive karma to carry forward. After all, I would not be on this happy path today had I not acted as I did in the past. For that I am grateful.

Namaste!  

Back to Mykonos

I was unsure how I felt about the itinerary change that had us arriving in Mykonos on our second day at sea. For some strange reason, Mykonos seems to punctuate the chapters of my and John’s life. I was hoping to have some time to build up to our return and to prepare for the possibility of new beginnings.

Our first visit to Mykonos in 1996 served as an end to my innocent, small town, young adult life and ushered in the next chapter that has been filled with career successes as well as fun and travel. John and I both return to the island as well adjusted adults with careers we love and lives we enjoy, buoyed by the love we share for friends, partners, and family. We are no longer the wide-eyed children of 12 years ago, but we are also not the angry, cynical adults that we could have become with the passing of the years. In many ways, we have both been blessed by our experiences and our friendship of the past 20 years. Perhaps it was my trepidation of this happy chapter coming to an end that caused me to be nervous about returning, or maybe it was the anticipation of a life that could be even better, but would require more effort. Either way, we woke up in a magical place. The next chapter of our lives had commenced.

Since we had previously spent five days in Mykonos, our plan was to have a quick walk about the town to show Jay around and then head over to Super Paradise Beach for some relaxation. We immediately noticed that there were quite a few more discos and t-shirt shops than we remembered. The island seems to have succumbed to the giant cruise ship curse. But we were undaunted. So a few pictures and a few questions later, we headed to the taxi stand. You should know that there are only 30 legal taxis on the entire island, so we settled in for a wait. After about 20 minutes, we decided to have a bit of an adventure and rent some scooters or four-wheelers and head to the beach on our own.

Mykonos from the Harbor

Chapel dedicated to St. Nicholas: Patron Saint of Sailors

Yes, the sky is really that blue....

The Mykonos Wind Mills

Mykonos: Little Venice

The Harbor

On a previous trip to the Bahamas, Jay had an accident on a scooter, so he was leaning more towards the four-wheeler option. I was all for hopping on the back of a scooter and heading out of town. Fortunately for us, all the four-wheelers were already rented, but a very nice man offered to take us to the beach in his Suzuki Sidekick for 10 Euros each. Once we were on the road, we realized that scooters would have been a disaster. The roads are all single lane, the curves are all blind, and the hills are as close to vertical as you can get and still keep your wheels on the ground.

The beach was stunning. We found three lounge chairs together, ordered a few drinks and settled in to watch the world go by. We had a swim in the chilly crystal blue waters and were attacked by those little fish that give pedicures. Apparently they really liked the scabs that Jay and I were sporting from minor scrapes as they continually dive bombed those areas. But a fish has got to eat…. The place was so stunning, that John, who is not known for relaxing, was in no hurry to return to the hustle and bustle of the city. We stayed until the very last minute before catching a public shuttle back to the harbor and back to the ship.

Our view on Super Paradise Beach

A small boat bringing more visitors to the beach

Cruise ships must all be in....

Homes overlooking the beach

After dinner we planned to return to the island for a bit of bar hopping, but instead we got sucked into Bishop Gene Robinson’s documentary Love Free of Die. I may have failed to mention that the Bishop was also a passenger on our ship. He introduced the film and stuck around for a Q&A session when it completed. (Best lines from the movie - When asked about how the church felt about his smoking, Robinson replied: “I have given people so many other things to talk about that my smoking seems to be of little consequence these days.” During a sermon about the responsibilities of parishioners to their fellow humans, he says “It is not enough to pull drowning people from the river. As Christians, it is our duty to go up river and find out who is pushing them in.”)

Needless to say, we were not in the mood for a disco outing after watching this heart wrenching, but nevertheless uplifting film. So, we hung around the bar and welcomed our fellow passengers back from their island adventures, drank a few too many shots and beers, then headed off to bed.

Throughout the evening, there were a few tears shed as John and I remembered our last visit and looked forward to the next chapters of our lives. I was happy to have returned to Mykonos to re-experience the magic. Mykonos may make men cry, but I am eager to continue my life's journey.


Next stop Patmos: The Jerusalem of the Mediterranean

Back to the Future: Journeys to Greece 1996 & 2012

Mykonos 1996: John, Kristin, Keith, Janice, and me

Way back in 1996, a group of friends from Raleigh heard about a party being thrown on the Greek Island of Mykonos called the 12 Gods Party (I forgot how simple and innocent the internet was back then…). So about 10 or so of us bought our tickets and jetted over to the Aegean Sea for a week of parties, food, drink, dancing, and fun under the deep blue Aegean sky.  It was a whirlwind tour – much of which was lost in a haze of drugs and alcohol and parties that lasted into the wee hours of the morning.

Sadly, many of the memories of happy times shared together that we did retain were soon overshadowed by our arrival home to a city devastated by Hurricane Fran. We were lucky in that we missed the storm, but we returned home to the aftermath. Luckily for me, my dear friend Clodagh was able to prepare our home for the storm accompanied by only the pets we had left in her care.

At that time, I lived in an old, established neighborhood. The streets previously shaded by old growth oak trees near the University were, upon our return, entangled with the remains of 50+ year old tree trunks, limbs, and electrical wires. Our freezers were filled with rotted food, and for some of us, our roofs had been caved in by felled trees. Five days without electricity in the sultry summer sucked away much of the joy and happiness we retained from our time in paradise.

Sixteen years later, John and I are closer than ever as friends and we are returning to the Aegean Sea older, wiser, with more appreciation for the life we have been blessed with and love we have for partners, friends, and family. Many things in our lives have changed, but our friendship has never been more solid. As John would say, “We are fiercer than ever!”

Rather than spending our entire time on a single island, this trip will be an adventure that I will hopefully never forget. We will be setting sail from Athens on a clipper ship with 150 other passengers. Our itinerary will bring us back to Mykonos, a place where our lives seemed to change for the better so many years ago. We will also be visiting the Greek Islands of Patmos, Santorini, Menomvasia, and the Turkish port of Kusadasi. The history geek in me is giddy with excitement. The enthusiastic tourist in me can’t wait for new experiences. My taste buds are tingling with the thought of new eating adventures and my feet are itching to be dancing again with friends under the Aegean stars. 

Opa! 

Coincidentally, just as in 1996, as I prepare for this journey there is a hurricane brewing in the Atlantic. We are all hoping and praying that Isaac either turns north heading out to sea or comes ashore as a tropical storm providing some drought relief for the Midwest.  

Two Weeks On: Vacation in Retrospective

I was talking to my friend John on Friday and he asked me about my trip. Two weeks on, my perspective has changed a bit. The never-ending jet lag that resulted in two weeks of insomnia had eased and I was sleeping through the night again - well mostly. The fatigue of getting up at 3:30 AM to begin our 30 hour transit home, returning to the office the next day, and being committed to outside activities for seven evenings in a row was a hazy dreamy memory of something that could have occurred in the distant past.

So, in looking back....

I really miss my brother and sister-in-law.  I wish it were easier to see them and share the daily minutiae of our lives. Not to mention that I will have to recreate relationships with Ozzy and Sawyer when I next see them.

Planning a trip to meet the requirements of so many other people's schedules is difficult. Next time, I may have to depend more on my traveling companion or employ the assistance of a travel agent. It was a lot of work coordinating schedules and travel preferences with my brother and dad. Thank goodness for my brother's knowledge of the countries we visited and his eagerness to share his part of the world with us.

Never, never, never again will I update my Facebook status with happy (smug) updates about the empty seat next to mine. Karma is a bitch, and she repaid me by placing an extra large Hispanic man in the seat next to mine on the 15 hour flight home from Honk Kong (not counting the 2 hours of sitting on the ground waiting for electrical maintenance to be completed). After we spent the first hour and a half fighting for the armrest, I gave in and let him have it. Of course, I exacted my revenge by cuddling into his over-hanging largeness as I tried to stay warm and get a bit of sleep on the way home. Good times...

On my next trip to Asia I will plan more professionally conducted tours. Why not learn something new while you are on the other side of the world? I will also plan to take a side trip to Angkor Wat to see another of the wonders of the world - however, I do hear that there is a "roughing it" factor when traveling to Cambodia.

Food is a good thing. I will soon be purchasing my own rice cooker and learning how to make a tasty pho. I will also be pestering my brother for his curry recipes.

If my office opens a branch in Singapore - you can count me among those who are willing to pack up my things and head overseas. I adore that city.

Separate bedrooms may be a good idea to promote prolonged family happiness and harmony. Apparently dad has not spent the night with that many men, in that I expect my sleeping companion to snore, he does not. Middle of the night belching and farting however is still unacceptable.

And, looking back on the entire experience, now that all the bills have come in, I would not change a thing. It was a memorable trip filled with lots of laughs and a few happy tears. My only regret is that it did not last longer.

XOX
Glenn