Sunshine, Roses, and Rude People

I freely admit that I have a relatively comfortable life, but it is not always sunshine, roses, and classic literature. Occasionally, a rude person will pierce my contented bubble of existence and throw me off balance.

Don't get me wrong, I am no pillar of politeness. I often make jokes about things that may still have an emotional sting (too soon?). I sometimes take a joke too far or make a biting comment that crosses the line of inappropriateness. In the right company, I will gladly join in the race to the lowest common denominator in search of a chuckle. I am also guilty of being coldly polite and a bit dismissive towards talkative servers, salespeople, and chatty neighbors on long flights.

Although I am sure there are other behaviors and instances of impoliteness friends can point out, my point is that I consciously make an effort to impose on other people as little as possible.

With all that said, last week I had two experiences with people who were just plain rude and insensitive.

The first affront to my delicate sensibilities was from a biker who was riding in the middle of a traffic lane during morning rush hour. Since I was not in a hurry and there was a traffic light ahead, I slowed down and followed at an adequate distance. When he moved to the right side of the lane, I passed him on the left - once again providing plenty of space between him and my car. While stopped at the traffic light, someone started yelling in my passenger side car window, "By law, you have to give me two feet!!!!!" I had no idea what he was talking about. I had remained much more than two feet away from him when following and passing him. This outburst sort of bothered me for the rest of the day. After all, if I had done something wrong, the more effective approach would have been to educate me about what I did wrong, not to yell at me inside my car.

After pondering this event for most of the day, it occurred to me that perhaps he was not yelling at me about a moving violation. It is possible that I did not leave him enough room between the left side of my car and the cars parked on that side of the road to continue forward while all the cars were stopped at the traffic light. Since he had been cycling in the middle of the lane and there was no bike lane on this street, it did not occur to me to allow him extra room to make his own lane between the stopped cars.

I later chatted about this incident with an experienced cyclist. He remarked that in this case the cyclist was breaking the rules. They should not be maneuvering through cars stopped in traffic. He suggested that next time something similar occurs, I should simply suggest the cyclist move to Portland.

The second incident has most likely been experienced by everyone - people talking during a movie. I am so averse to this behavior, that I often brave opening weekend crowds to avoid it. My reasoning is that fans who have been anticipating a movie's release are much less likely to stand in line and pay full ticket price only to engage in conversation, chats, arguments,  or provide a running film commentary.  Also, the IMAX theater two blocks from my home charges $14 per ticket. My experience has been that the high ticket price is a great disincentive to being disruptive during a movie.

I had some extra time last Sunday afternoon, so I popped over to the IMAX to catch Pacific Rim. I am a big fan of Guillermo Del Toro's movies, but I was out of town for opening weekend. Based on the running commentary, the couple sitting next to me thought they were enjoying this movie from their own living room. At first, based on the comments, I thought that perhaps one of them was blind and the other was providing descriptions. I was wrong.  They were just enjoying the movie using their outside voices. No matter how many times I glared at them through my 3-D glasses, they continued their conversation. My only choices were to move to a front row or sit with a finger in my ear. I chose the latter.  GRRRRR!   Perhaps the IMAX needs to hire some movie ninjas....

According to Buddhist teachings, it is our reaction to the thoughtlessness of other people that matters. I should thank these people for allowing me to practice patience and compassion. Practice makes perfect, but I am a long, long way from thanking people for their rudeness.

Namaste