The Airplane Karma Fairy Really Hates Me

While I was at work the week before my departure and packing (and repacking) my bags, my friends, John and Jay, got a head start on me. They planned to stop off in Munich for a visit with our friends Frank and Andre before setting sail. Their itinerary included a few days in Munich, then Salzburg (Austria), Verona (Italy), and Venice (Jealous? Anyone?). Since this is one of “those” cruises where a different costume is required each night, I suggested they have their packages delivered to my address. There was no need to schlep wigs, hats, costumes and boots across Europe. I would simply pack them and bring them over.

Just like Christmas....

As such, the weeks before my departure were a bit like Christmas. Every day new packages arrived: togas, jumpsuits, sandals, singlets, tutus, and disco boots – yes, high-rise disco boots – but, more on that to come. Needless to say, one of my suitcases was full of fun – meaning I would have just one other for toiletries and clothes.

And surprisingly, one bag for nine days was actually enough room for all I needed. Who would have thought it possible? Unlike our last cruising adventure, I was a bit more clever and discriminating in my clothing choices. Rather than planning for all contingencies and moods, I went with a mix and match approach of a few plain tee shirts, a pair of jeans, 4 pairs of shorts, a variety of swim wear, and 5 collared shirts for dinner. Off course, no man worth his salt can get away without several pairs of shoes – hiking boots, sneakers, a smart high top deck shoe, and the mandatory pair of sandals.

Me and Carl: July 4th Golf Cart Parade

The days leading up to my departure were rather uneventful and somewhat relaxing. It was not as hectic as before my last journey when I was trying to finish up a project and interviewing for a new job, but it was much more emotional. Carl and I tried to squeeze in a few extra nights together. It seems I have formed quite an attachment to my new beau. So much so, that I refused to let him walk me into the airport for fear of a tearful scene. 

My friends know that deep within my crusty exterior lurks an emotionally expressive alter ego.  This alter ego is usually kept in check by sarcasm, cynicism, wry humor, and wit; however, when I am alone or slightly vulnerable, it bubbles up to the service and the water works flow freely. I am always the silly man crying at every wedding, birth, play, movie, sitcom, concert, and even some commercials. I am a sap. On the reverse side of that, I think that I display an exuberance for life as well as a tendency to laugh loudly at the slightest provocation.

 Therefore, at the airport, I adamantly refused to allow Carl to park and walk me in because I knew there would be a scene. So we hugged and kissed in front of the airport with my luggage looking on. Then I went inside and sat for a minute until my tears dried. Of course those tears returned in the security line, making a return at the gate, again in Philadelphia, and several times again throughout this trip.  What can I say? I’ve got it bad.

All flights were on time and relatively uneventful. I was lucky enough to have an empty seat beside me on the nine hour flight to Athens. Unfortunately, the airline Karma fairy was feeling a little mischievous, because no sooner did I rejoice over this stroke of good fortune, than the rather large and “athletic” woman in the seat in front of me reclined her seat to its fullest horizontal position and began rocking back and forth as she loudly conversed with friends in both her row as well as the row behind me. Remember when flying was a joy and people were kind and considerate? 

After six hours of raucous revelry, she announced during breakfast that it was her birthday, resulting in her friends buying more rounds of drinks. My Buddhist teachings instruct me to keep things in proper perspective, so I made every effort to remain calm and remember that this person was celebrating an event with her friends. To her, it was an important occasion; a time to celebrate with loud gusto, to flirt with the flight attendant, to ask for pastries from the first class service to supplement the stale pastry served in economy class, to repeatedly standing in her seat while riffling through her carry-on bags, to bounce with excitement, and incessantly rock back and forth as if spending a day on her front porch rocker.  Yay for her…..

I closed my eyes after the breakfast service, assumed the position, and found peace from the following mantra:

In order to be of benefit to myself and others, I must constantly strive to reach a state of enlightenment.
I am aided in this effort through meditation, from which I gain wisdom, insight, and compassion for others.
As a result of meditation, I will be more focused on today’s tasks, mindful of today’s activities, and thoughtful when interacting with others.
My hope is that anyone who sees, hears, speaks to, touches, or remembers me will in that instant be free from suffering and abide in happiness forever.

As it does every day, losing myself in this mantra helped me find my peace of mind. I was able to put the situation into perspective. I arrived in Athens with very little sleep and slightly bruised knees, but I was eager to join up with my friends for an exciting voyage. 

Once through customs I began chatting with some of the people who had been sitting around me on this flight. They too were a bit peeved by this lady’s behavior. Their comments, however, were a bit less charitable – most of which involved hopes that her ship sinks somewhere far from land. 

Keeping it all in perspective, I was annoyed by her thoughtless behavior, but karma can be a bitch sometimes. All I knew was that I was standing in a place I loved 16 years ago, missing the one I love in 2012. Let’s see what Greece has in store for me this time.