Family Vacation 2013: To the Caribbean via Baltimore

It has been a while since I vacationed with the family. The next several blog posts are dedicated to capturing the good, bad, and tasty experiences of a week at sea with my father, his girlfriend, my sister and nieces.

"I never get to go anywhere," said Roxy, petulantly.

On the first day of vacation, everything went smoothly. Our people and their luggage all fit into the van. I won the largest suitcase competition, but in my defense a guy needs an adequate supply of costume changes to get through a week at sea. There were a few traffic slowdowns and one road construction detour in Washington DC that confused the GPS, but other than that it was a smooth trip from Raleigh to Baltimore. 

Seaside Crabhouse, which is surprisingly nowhere near the seaside

After freshening up, we met in the lobby and the desk clerk gave us directions to a local crab house for dinner.  For the most part, I am a bit averse to interacting too forcefully with my food. In the case of seafood, however, I am a beast. I am happy to rip a mollusk’s flesh from its shell, to crack the leg of a succulent crap and dredge the slightly salty flesh through some warm drawn butter, and peel a pound of sweet steamed shrimp for dipping in a spicy cocktail sauce. I love seafood, particularly in the summer, so I was more than delighted to split a seafood steamer pot with Linda. We each had plenty of our favorites and at the end of the night we had the dirty fingers to prove we had enjoyed the spread. 

Upon returning to the hotel, my niece Kaitlyn and I immediately curled into our beds and went to sleep.  All was well in the world, but I was a bit concerned about sharing a room with a light sleeper. According to those in the know, I am not a snore-all-night sort of guy, but I was a bit nervous that my intermittent snoring would ruin this princess’s sleep. I did not want to be the pea under her mattress preventing her from enjoying our week at sea.

At breakfast the next morning she proclaimed that I was very considerate in my snoring except for the one time I reached a crescendo and actually woke myself up. I blame the pillows. 

I am sticking to that story. 

What's Worse than a Wandering Mariachi Band?

We had a bit of time to get a little nap and a shower before we met Jeff's colleagues, Jesse and Min, at 7:30 for dinner.  Jesse is Filipino and has worked with Jeff for over 10 years.  Min is the new Vietnamese country manager Jeff recently hired - so tonight's adventure was on his recommendation.  Talk about pressure, having to please your colleague, your boss, and his family.  But Min seemed up for the job.

He picked us up in the company van and we headed out of the city - way out of the city into another province actually. It seemed that we got on one road and kept going straight for about 30 - 45 minutes. We were definitely in the suburbs.  During our journey, there was a lot of shop talk about their day at a manufacturing site and we learned about the Vietnamese Hot Toc. On the outside it appears to be just a barber shop. According to our guides, the pleasant euphemism would be that a Hot Toc is sort of like the McDonald's of  full (adult) service barber shops.  A little of the top and a little.... well, you can figure that out. Sexy times!

We soon arrived at our destination, which was an open air seafood market and restaurant.  All of the fare was displayed in a stall at the front of the market. Tables and child sized chairs were arranged behind the market.  You select your food, it is steamed, and brought to your table.

Our destination

You order the food from one person and then you track down a beer hostess for your drinks.  She brings over a galvanized tub full of ice and beer and begins to pour.  Beer service is a bit like wine service, they just keep it coming, but here they place a huge block of ice into your beer mug and then pour the beer over the ice. I guess it is always so muggy here that they need a bit of extra cooling to keep it from getting too warm too quickly. Plus the beer is a bit weak to start with, so you really don't notice that it is getting watered down.

Tiger Beer Hostesses

The food service was very quick. Each dish was delivered when it finished cooking.  We started out with some clams topped with wilted greens onions, followed by mussels, grilled prawns, steamed scallops, and then a heaping pile of steamed crabs.  Apparently Min had heard that Americans have large appetites because he ordered way too much food. But, we were undaunted.

Min, Jeff, Dad, and Glenn

Steamy, blurry food

Shrimp on a stick?

Once the food started arriving, there wasn't much talking from our table.  The beer continued to flow and the seafood was consumed at a superhuman rate. In the past I called this type of dining "too interactive." But tonight, I dove in with gusto, so as not to be left behind.  I eventually went native and just starting dropping my shells on the ground.  My pile of remains was quite impressive by the time we were finished.

Judging from the time the beer hostess spent at our table and the happy laughter following the meal, I believe that Min picked a winner.  We were all pretty fat, happy, and content.

The remains of the day

Now to answer the teaser - throughout the meal, we had several young / old / handicapped street vendors approach our table selling baked goods, quail eggs, lottery tickets, or just standing there and staring at us with their hands out. They would sadly stand at one corner and try to sell you something, then move to the next corner, and so on until they worked their way completely around the table.  They were persistent and the same vendors kept returning to the table over and over again, just in case we changed our minds. With a wandering Mariachi band, you can just give them a dollar and they move on - not so much with the wandering vendors of Vietnam.

However, we were very lucky, in that the floor show started just in time for us to swill down a few more beers.  We were treated to a sword swallower, who also could do some balancing acts with a snake threaded into his nostril, half hanging out of his nose and half hanging out of his mouth.  I was quite impressed - so much so that I got up and tipped him following his performance. As I returned to the table, one of the granny vendors slapped me on my junk, and proceeded to scold me in Vietnamese.  I assume it was due to the fact that I did not purchase any of her lottery tickets, but I freely spent money on the man with a snake hanging in his mouth.  Freudian?  You decide....

Following the sword swallower, the karaoke machine arrived.  It is amazing what you can strap onto a scooter. But, karaoke in any language is enough to send everyone on their way.

Mobile Karaoke Party Machine

This evening was great fun.  Thanks to Min, Jesse, and Jeff for dragging us out of the city for such a memorable time.