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| Bon vivant - aka gay expat |
Perhaps my long hours of reading and re-reading paragraphs chocked full of subordinate clauses, so full in fact that I would often forget which character initiated the dialog at the beginning of the paragraph. Regardless, I was better prepared for #27, The Ambassadors (1903), that, or this book was actually a lot better than The Golden Bowl.
As with all good stories there are obstacles along the way that make Strether reconsider his mission - among them are the pleasures of the Parisian Spring, the city's life, food, music, theater, as well as the delightfully cultured denizens of its art world with whom Chad is ensconced. Streather immerses himself in Chad's world and in so doing. Strether begins enjoying himself, develops a bit of a crush on Chad's "girlfriend," and begins maneuvering to extend his stay in Paris by discouraging Chad from returning to the bosom of his family.
Strether, seduced by Paris and its inhabitants, and possibly a tad bit in love, comes to the realization that his practical life has not been a life of happiness. He explains to a young acquaintance:
It's too late. And it's as if the train had fairly waited at the station for me without my having had the gumption to know it was there. Now I hear its faint receding whistle miles and miles down the line. What one loses one loses; make no mistake about that.... Still, one has the illusion of freedom; therefore don't be, like me, without the memory of that illusion. I was either, at the right time, too stupid or too intelligent to have it; I don't quite know which. Of course at present I'm a case of reaction against the mistake; and the voice of reaction should, no doubt, always be taken with an allowance. But that doesn't affect the point that the right time is now yours. The right time is any time that one is still so lucky as to have. You've plenty; that's the great thing; you're, as I say, damn you, so happily and hatefully young. Don't at any rate miss things out of stupidity.... Do what you like so long as you don't make my mistake. For it was a mistake. Live!
Of course the remainder of the narrative rests on whether Strether will take his own advice and pursue his own happiness or return to New England. Will he do as his fiancee wishes or will he return home, empty handed, knowing he made the right decision? The book's ends before there is a resolution, so scholarly debate continues as to Strether's choice.
Middle Age Reminiscence
As I live through my middle years, I sometimes think about missed opportunities for happiness and the choices I sometimes made with my head instead of my heart. Like Strether, I may have come late to the banquet, but I am determined to enjoy all that life offers. I just have to make sure I get to the train station on time. Live!
