Your Hero’s Journey

It took a few weeks, well, really more than a month, to get back into my regular schedule following the great leap forward (also known as daylight savings time). I have struggled to get out of bed at 6:00 AM, start the coffee, meditate, and get to the gym – all before work. As with all struggles, if it were easy, I guess everyone would be doing it.

As part of my morning workout, I have a list of 10 or so podcasts to which I listen in order to combat the monotony of repeatedly counting reps and sets and miles. Due to my recent laziness and inability to roll out of bed, I am a little behind in my podcast listening.  But, when I am at the gym I listen to episodes of Stuff You Should Know, Stuff You Missed in History Class, Freakonomics, Planet Money, Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, Here’s the Thing with Alec Baldwin, and my favorite The Savage Lovecast.

Dan Savage is one of my idols. I admire his blend of blunt, in your face, practical advice, delivered with the raunchiness of a giggly sex-starved schoolboy, and yet he remains empathetic to the lovelorn, lost, and uninformed. I want to be him when I grow up!

The Savage Lovecast episode I listened to this morning originally aired in November 2012. In it, Savage followed up with a caller who had called about a problem he was experiencing in 2011 following his coming out to his religiously conservative parents. He was having a difficult time deciding what to do about the holidays - go home during his college break, as his parents wanted, to pretend all is well and to be emotionally blackmailed or stay with a friend’s family. He decided not to go home, but in this episode, a year later, we learn that his family is still punishing him and regularly emailing pleas to "leave the darkness and march in the light of Christ."

What intrigued me most about this conversation was Savage’s reference to the caller’s “heroic journey,” which represents the struggle he is now experiencing that will eventually define who he becomes in life. Savage advised this young man to not fall into self-destructive behaviors (alcohol, drugs, risky practices), but to use this journey as a means to forge his own path to happiness. He should take responsibility for his actions and avoid blaming his parents for their reaction.

For some reason, I was struck by the terminology, perhaps due to its literary quality, but it made me think about my own "heroic" journeys and how the choices I made along the way affect my life today. The first journey commenced a week before I graduated from high school, when my closet door was ripped from its hinges before I was mentally or financially prepared to deal with the fall out. As a result, I chose a path of destruction eventually leading to the creation of multiple personae - each intended to please my family, friends, teachers, and employers. Looking back, this path is littered with thousands of beer cans, liquor bottles, the remains of numerous recreational drugs, and the shards of broken hearts.

And yet, I survived only to be forced into a second heroic journey at the ripe old age of 40. This one was precipitated by the estrangement from a parent. I found that my previous tools for coping would not heal this wound. Instead, upon closer examination, I simply realized I had only been pushed from the nest (albeit very late in life) and it was now time to fly. In the 10 years since I embarked on this path, my wings have grown stronger and I feel myself soaring above my troubles. I left no debris trail behind me as I recovered and began to savor a sense of release by living a life full of love and potential, rather than fear, shame and distrust.

I think we are all challenged by life and forced into multiple heroic journeys at various points in our lives. We are sometimes assisted along the way by our loved ones,  but, as Mr. Savage points out, it is up to us to decide whether our stories will be remembered as tragedies or triumphs. 

Peace!

Spiritual Path: Karma Finally Catches Up With Me

Bangkok: 10 years ago. Today I would call it Karma.

Last summer I took a leap and followed a path that had been calling me. After a few classes on meditation I knew I had made the right decision, but there was so much to learn. Following the new year, I began attending a series of Discovering Buddhism classes offered through the Kadampa Center. This series consists of 14, six-week courses, each focused on one aspect of Buddhist philosophy. If you attend all 14 courses, including a two week retreat, and complete the assignments, you receive a certificate. 

It is possible that one day I may become a certified Buddhist, until then, I will continue working to improve myself. 

 The most recent course focused on the rather complicated topic of Karma. To complete the course, students were asked to answer this following question:  

 According to the Buddha, every aspect of our experience of life, no matter how trivial or insignificant, is the result of karma, our past actions of body, speech, and mind. Do you agree or disagree with this? Why? Whether you believe this or not, how would your life be different if you lived as if this were true?

My Answer:

Even before I took my first class at the Kadampa Center, I always felt that there was a cause and effect for all things that happen in this life – I simply lacked the framework for properly understanding it. Of course, I was previously more apt to apply this outlook to the problems of others rather than myself. From a distance it is often easier to see how someone is making a rather uncomfortable bed in which they will one day be whining about having to sleep. And, I hate to admit, I have rather bluntly and with a lack of compassion pointed out to family, friends, and co-workers that the unhappy situation in which they find themselves appears to be due to loose lips, poor choices, or not taking the time to read and follow the instructions.

Over the last ten years or so, I have attempted to think of myself as a self-contained, pragmatic person; however, following my recent introduction to the intricacies of Karma, I feel as if the light has broken through the clouds. Rather than attempting to exist as an island with no cares in the world, I now find that I am trying harder to be kind and compassionate to the people I interact with on a daily basis and more friendly to people randomly encountered throughout the day. I feel myself taking the time to recognize when I am being impatient, not practicing generosity, about to say something without thinking, or obsessing about the fly that is buzzing around my home. My nascent awareness (and sharp wit) may not prevent me from speaking before thinking in every occasion, but I do feel that by recognizing those actions that result in unhappiness and making the effort to avoid them, my happiness quotient has increased.

If I had this knowledge from an earlier age, rather than learning it at the contemplative age of 50, I am unsure how my life would be different today. Perhaps I would have worked harder to maintain some relationships and ended others more quickly. Perhaps I would have considered the long-term consequences of my choices rather than the short-term pleasures I sought. In retrospect, there are some decisions and words I wish I could take back. However, regardless of these past actions, today I can only learn from the past and act in a manner that generates positive karma to carry forward. After all, I would not be on this happy path today had I not acted as I did in the past. For that I am grateful.

Namaste!  

From the Lists: #37 The Bridge of San Luis Rey

The Bridge of San Luis Rey (1927) by Thornton Wilder examines faith, the existence of divine intervention, and the lives of five victims lost as a result of an unexpected tragedy.

The novel opens with “On Friday noon, July the twentieth, 1714, the finest bridge in all Peru broke and precipitated five travelers into the gulf below.” The bridge, a local feat of Incan engineering, linked Cuzco with Lima and had lasted 100 years. Adding to the mystery, there was no apparent reason for its collapse. A Franciscan monk, who witnessed the event, believed that if he could discover the facts about the victims’ lives, he could prove whether the tragedy was a result of chance or divine intervention.

The subsequent parts of this very short novel examine the lives of the five victims: A misunderstood member of the Peruvian court and her young servant, a young man in mourning for his recently deceased twin brother, the male valet for Peru’s most acclaimed actress and the actress’s young son.

The novel’s conceit is that the narrator has the benefit of both the monk’s writing as well as the lens of history to clarify portions of the victims’ lives, which may have been misunderstood or misrepresented by those closest to them. For example, the Marquesa de Montemayor is reviled in Lima due to her appearance and penchant for hitting the bottle, yet in time, her letters are revered as some of the most famous literary writings from the period. Through the lens of time, it becomes apparent that all of these victims, except perhaps the children, are a complex mixture of both good and bad qualities – like everyone.

Thornton Wilder from his Yale graduation photo

Besides its brevity, I quite liked this novel. The antiquated and quaint style of storytelling reads as if the book were written in the Victorian age rather than the early 20^th century. The third person narrator proves to be more reliable than the monk – who presumes to be able to know the will of God. And, like Go Tell It On the Mountain, this is another story told in five parts.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 for originality, entertainment, and brevity.

Next up:  #36  All the King’s Men

From the Lists: #39 Go Tell It on the Mountain

Go Tell It on the Mountain (1953) by James Baldwin is a semi-autobiographical novel examining the role of the Christian Church in the lives of African-Americans, both as a source of repression and moral hypocrisy and as a source of inspiration and community in the early 20^th century. It also, subtly discusses racism in the United States as experienced by African-Americans in both the South and Harlem following the turn of the century to 1920.

The story is imaginatively told from the perspectives of four characters: John (the protagonist), his Mother Elizabeth, his stepfather Gabriel Grimes, and Gabriel’s sister Florence. The Grimes family unit is in constant crisis due to Gabriel’s inability to forgive himself and his family members for their past sins. Their home and social lives revolve around a storefront, charismatic Christian church where the Lord speaks directly to the faithful, tears are shed in prayer, tongues are spoken, and the members are filled with the holy spirit. 

Well, all members except for John, who at 14, is beginning to question his faith. His crisis of faith comes from his relationship with his stepfather as well a belief that his awakening sexuality is a sign of his sinfulness making him unworthy of God’s love.

The novel is divided into five sections, much like the Pentateuch. The characters are first introduced from John’s 14-year-old perspective. The next three parts occur in the church where the histories of the adults in John’s life are revealed through the prayers they offer during a Saturday night “Tarry” service, a Friday or Saturday night service during which congregants pray and wait for the lord to speak to them directly. I found this video of a tarry service that may give you a better idea of what John was experiencing when the spirit came upon him in the novel’s final scene.

I really quite enjoyed reading this novel. I felt as if I could relate each character with myself or someone I know. The writing was crisp and although the action occurs in space of a few hours, the narrative does not linger on the mundane as do many modernist novels of this time. In this case, every word moves the story and the reader’s understanding forward.

Recommendation: 4 enthusiastically sung hymns out of 5

Next up: The Bridge of San Luis Rey Thornton Wilder

100 Best English Novels of the 20th Century  

 

Who's a Whore (for entertainment)? Me!

I love a good movie – especially one that makes me think about something differently, shows me things I have never seen, or entertains me for two hours with spectacular effects. But, I freely admit that last Wednesday night, I felt a little guilty, a little dirty, and a bit ashamed for having spent two hours watching the extremely underwhelming G.I. Joe: Retaliation in IMAX 3D.

Is this how it feels to sell yourself for so little?

 

The Backstory:

Since the IMAX theater is two blocks from my condo, Carl and I invested in IMAX Power Passes last November. For an initial $40 per pass investment, we can see any IMAX Hollywood Production for the low, low price of only $5, rather than $14. We can also purchase tickets before they go on sale to the general public and we do not have to pay the dreaded ticketing service charge for online purchases.

The best perk, is the VIP line. All Power Pass holders enter first, without having to wait in line for 45 minutes to get a good seat. This is really convenient, especially when planning dinner before a 7:00 PM movie. We walk in 10 minutes before the movie starts and still get prime seating.

Since the movies are so inexpensive and because Carl is a bargain hunter extraordinaire, we have seen every movie, except Top Gun in 3D. Some have been really good movies for IMAX (Skyfall) and IMAX 3D (The Hobbit, Oz the Great and Powerful), some movies were really just for fun and something to do (Jurassic Park in 3D) and some were real stinkers (G.I. Joe: Retaliation).

Basically, we are determined to see every movie shown at the IMAX theatre in order to maximize our investment. Now, in retrospect, would I have seen the 3D re-release of Jurassic Park if I were paying full price – No. Would I have even gone to the $2 theater to see G.I. Joe – Never.

Therefore, I think that I can safely and honestly say that I have become a whore - a whore for entertainment. Worse, I am a cheap whore. I sold myself for only $5.